today was a decision making day.

i decided i am a five year old (during my therapy session) and that i throw tantrums and do insane things to try and get attention. (aka i act out) and i need people to help me and support me and be there for me (even though i am scared to death of everyone/being social.

i decided that my next tattoo will be a quote from kurt vonnegut “everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.” i’m putting it under my boob on the heart side (left side). its an ode to the pain of living versus the idea of a numb life. (the quote is actually from slaughterhouse five and is on the tombstone of a man who was killed by gunfire while hopped up on morphine)

i (and ian) decided on a date for the weddddddinnnnggg! eee! august 4th (possibly the 6th since it is a saturday) 2011. 2 years. 2 years… TWO YEARS. (wow) planning has already started and i am afraid, but almost too excited for words… :) its a beautiful thing.

i also decided that i want to live…