i miss my mommy. i miss my daddy. i miss my ian. i hate being alone when i’m sick. i feel gross and alone and have no one to tell me its gunna be ok. i know its selfish, but nothing helps me feel better when i’m sick than someone to take care of me…

there is sunshine on my hands. the keys on my laptop are sparkling at me. maybe the sun is trying to help. my hands look so much older than they used to.. sometimes i look at my hands next to my moms and think about getting older. and think about all the changes that are coming my way. this is the part of life when you LIVE and i feel like i am hiding from it all. I don’t want to be an adult most of the time, but I want to have my own house and people to take care of and my own family to extend off of the one i already have. I love the idea of being a mom someday.

no more expectations. negative or positive. just living.

i need some herbal help… fuck this paper.